The none-swearing, none-abusive, intelligent and funny insults, comebacks, and put-downs you can use on your friends and work colleagues (or rivals).
An intelligent insult a day, different every day.
Dont wake up at 3 in the morning thinking "What I should have said was", be prepared for that witty comeback, so when someone comes along and ruins your day, smile, and in a calm voice, insult them without swearing or using abuse. For example "May all your pillows be warm on both sides"